Amos 6

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Old Testament
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pai attenshn or dere wil be trublz

1 U think u iz saef in Zion
  an up on Mount Samaria.
2 U iz so rong.
3 U think "I wil taekz caer of dis tumorro."
4 U lie around all day eatin cookies.
5 an jammin on teh guitar.
6 U getz drunk an putz on suntan loashn LOL.
7 U will be teh first to go.

Ceiling Cat haetz Israel's familiz

8 Ceiling Cat sez, "I haetz Jacobz family an all his baeses."
9 Dere cud be ten d00dz in wun house n dey all wud die.
10 N if sumwun dumz to taek teh bodiz an burn dem an dey ar liek "Enibodi dere?" an sumwun ansrz "no," dey will be liek "STFU an don maek Ceiling Cat ani angriyer dan he alredi iz."
11 Bcz Ceiling Cat has sed "Smash up teh house!
12 Duz horses run on teh rocki mountn? U haz turnd justiss into poisn.
13 U iz happi dat Lo Debar got beated. An Karnaim.
14 But I sez "Israel, I iz sendin an armi dat wil kik ur ass frm Lebo Hamath all teh wai to Arabah."

Amos 6
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