Acts 26

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1 Agrippa sed to Paul,"u can talk.", so Paul wuz liek "WELL FINE,

2 Den i feel maiself smilin, cuz you touchin me like da jewz

3 and i no u no what dem jewz be like, so lissen.

4 Ev'n when i wuz kittencat, livin in jewtown, i new lotsa jewz,

5 and lotsa jewz new me, and dey sed mine edj so strate ima farisee.

6 an now ima bein juj'd cuz ceiling cat makes promiz to mai dadcat n i haffa fill it."

7 nao i swerz twelv memes 4 ceiling cat n the dayz n nites. Agrippa! I are sed 2 b Jewz, do not want!

8 y it thot reel gud wif you, wen ceiling cat cast raiz ded?.

9 i tinks i do stufz against Jebus.

10 in Jerusalem, i shutz u n killz teh saints.

11 i hurtz dem n chased dm like mice.

12 i wentz 2 Damascus wit teh priests, srsly.

13 at midday, wez all saw teh light from teh ceiling.

14 den wez fallen to teh urths. n teh Hebru voice sed,"Saul, y u kill me? iz hard to kick teh knitting needles."

15 i sez,"hu iz u?". teh voice sed,"i iz Jebus, hu u hurtz.

16 standz up! i cum 2 tell n show u stuffz. u iz gonna b a minister.

17 i send u 2 teh Gentiles.

18 u go n open teh eyes to me n 2 ceiling cat wit teh light. to helps dem wit faith."

19 Agrippa,i didz dis.

20 i shewz dem at Damascus n Jerusalem n teh coasts. den i shew teh Gentiles.

21 den teh Jews try to killz me.

22 cos ceiling cat helpz me, i iz alive, srsly. all i sez iz in teh bible.

23 Jebus sufferz n iz teh first 2 die den cum bac. now he show teh light 4 teh catz."

24 den Festus sed,"Paul u iz crazy."

25 Paul sed,"i ain't, Festus, i iz right.

26 teh king nows dis. he now all bout dis, it not hidden in teh corner, srsly.

27 Agrippa u believes me?"

28 Agrippa sed 2 Paul,"srsly, u almst makes me Christian, lol."

29 Paul sed,"i does dat 2 many catz."

30 teh king n governor n Bernice sat wit dem.

31 dey sed,"this cat aint so bad".

32 Agrippa sed to Festus,"dis cat woodz b free,if he no talk 2 Caesar."


Acts 26
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