Acts 25

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New Testament

1 Festus waz teh n00b, nd 3 dais he was in Caesarea befoor he left 2 Jerusalem.2 Nd teh hai priests sed 2 Festus tht dey no liek Paul.3 So teh hai priests ask Festus for his halp 2 get Paul 2 Jerusalem (so teh hai priests cud srsly pwn Paul).4 but Festus sed dat Paul shud b kept at Caesarea, n dat he himself waz goin dere soon.

5 Festus sed dat those wiff p0w3r shud go to Casearea n akewz Paul wiff him.

6 liek 8 or 10 dais lata Festus went 2 caesarea and komand3d Paul b brought n to him

7 Paul came n Joos from Jooroosulum were srs cat and charged Paul n sed he wuz bad.

8 Paul sed in his deefence "i haz no sin, liek srsly."

9 And Festus sed "wanna take monorailz 2 jooroosulum jugement wiv me?"

10 And Paul sed "seezer can has judgement on me, iz staying"

11 "No-one's judging me 'cept him. Srsly."

12 An Festus sed "haz u sed "i can has appealz?" yet?" u goez 2 seezerz.

13 An in a lil while Da King Aggripa come an Bernice come

14 An in a lil while Festus make da cases 4 Paul to tha kingz an sed

15 "wen iz were in ur jooroosulemz being informed bai ur priestz 2 judge him"

16 "ai sez: "iz not ur ting or tha Romans ting 2 judge"

17 sos wen dey come, iz sittin on ur judgement seats, commanding ur man forth

18 an wen accoozerz stands, dey say nuffing! srsly!

19 and den dey goez off da topic an sez "is Jebus deaded?" an Paul sed "no wayyz!"

20 and so iz saying "i can has u go to jeroosulems?"

21 and den sed: noes, "u goes too seezer""

22 Aggrippa sed: i can has hear himz?" an Festus sed "noes, you can hears him tomorrowz"

23 and den tha hole ting happened again in a lil while

25 but iz saying "noes"

26 and iz always been rite. srsly."

27 cuz he dun deserve take da monorail to da ceiling cat. kthanxbai.

Acts 25
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