Acts 24

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New Testament
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1 after five days, Ananias, his mates, n Tertullus sed to teh gov bout Paul.

2 Tertullus sed bout Paul u is quiet and u do good stuffz.

3 we likez dis all ovr. thnx.

4 i iz gonna b quick, so listenz.

5 this man he is a mouse nicks our cheezeburgerz.

6 he peed out teh litter tray. we'z nicked him.

7 den has a cat fight wit Lysias. He took'd Paul from uz.

8 u ask questionz, u learn of wat we r accusin' him of.

9 teh Joos sed so.

10 Paul den sed, "i was a judge n i sez dis..."

11 i went to Jerusalem twelve dais ago.

12 i no getz angry n scratch stuffz.

13 dey is lyin bout me. dey is dreamin dis.

14 i listenz to Ceiling Cat. n readz teh meaows of teh prophetz.

15 i hope for teh resurrection of teh dead.

16 i lookz out fer water from Ceiling Cat n catz.

17 i brought some cookies for teh nation.

18 den sum Joos from Asia washed me, without water.

19 dey should b here n say stuffz.

20 or makes dese say stuffz, if dey finds me evilz.

21 coz i saw Jebus come back, dey askz me questionz.

22 Felix sent dem away. he sed, "When Lysias come bak i know all bout dis.

23 he sent a guard wit Paul n let him do stuffz.

24 Felix n his Jooish wif foned Paul bout trustin Jebus.

25 Paul sed stuffz which srsly scard Felix. hu sed,"when i is ready, i meaow u.

26 he wontd moneys fer Paul, n he talked to hm.

27 After too years, Porcius Festus came. Felix made him n teh Joos srsly happy wit Paul bound by water.


Acts 24
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