Acts 18

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In teh Corinthz

1 Den teh Pauls left teh Athenz n wentz to teh Cornth.2 He metted teh joo Aquila dat wuz nativ frm Pwntus taht comed frm Itly wit wifz Prizilla cuz Claudius sedz "O Hai joos... get outs ov Romes!!!!!"3 Paul wented to seez tem cuz he maked teh tentz, but did not eated tehm cuz he wuz workinz wit demz.4 Evry Sabuth he wented to teh senagawg to tryz to perswades teh joos and teh greekz.

5 Silaz and Timothy comes and Paul waz liek "I be preechin teh Jebus to teh joos now! kthnxbai!"6 But teh joos no liek Paul and dey beated himz. Paul sez to demz "Yuz haz blodz on yer hedz. Iz gon to genteels cuz yu srsly sux, srsly."

7 Paul leftz teh senagawg an wentz to howz ovs Titius Justus (ya, dat be realz naime, kthnxbai), cuz Titius be warshippingz teh Ceiling Cat.8 Crispus and lotz ov peeplez dere liek teh Ceiling Cat. Lotz ov teh Corentheunz be bapitized.

9 One nite, teh Ceiling Cat sez to Paul in a vishun "I no eated yu, keepz talkinz, no be quietz.10 I be heer wit yu an no onez will be eated yew. Cuz I gotz lotz ov peeps in teh citeez."11 Den Paul stayd fo one yearz an teh haf preechin teh Ceiling Cat.

12 Joos no lieked Paul an dey be attacked hiem an dragged hiem to tehir coort.13 Den dey sez "He waz be in teh senagawg preechin teh Jebus an dat be ilegul."

14 Paul waz bout to speekz but Gallio sez "Yo jooz, dis no be crime so I no be lisenin,15 kthnxbai."16 Den dey throz hiem out ov teh coort.17 Den dey eated Sosthenes in teh frontz ov teh coorts. And Gallio waz watevez.

Priscilla an teh Aquila an teh Apolloz

18 Den teh Paul steyd in teh Corinthz for leik a mont or sumthin. Den he sedz "Oh hai bruthurs gudby! kthnxbai." Paul den sayld wit teh Priscilla an teh Aquila 2 Syria, praiyin to teh Jebus no get wet. Cuz Paul haet water. but bfor he sayld he gotted his hairs cuts cuz he sedded a ohth.19 When dey gots to Ephesus Paul sedz "Kthnxbai." to teh Priscilla an teh Aquila.20 Den dey wuz leik "Wtf!!? Wai yew no talkz to uz? Wai!!?"21 An Paul wuz leik "I com bakz if teh Ceiling Cst wantzes mi to!!!!!"22 Den he gotz to teh Caesarea an sedz "Oh hai!" to teh cherch, den he wentz to teh Antiochz.

23 Afta Paul wuz in teh Antiochz he walkeded rown teh Galatia an teh Phrygia preechin teh Jebus to teh desypulz.

24 Den teh joo Apolloz frum Alexandreya wentz to teh Ephesus. Teh Apolloz wuz smartz an he knoo teh biybulz.25 He wuz tawted teh way ov teh Ceiling Cat, an he spoked wit a furvir an he tawt teh Jebus akuritlays, but he ownley knoo wenz John wuz baptizded.26 Den he talkded reel lowds in teh senagawg. He wuz al leik "Yo, jooz! teh Jebus is teh awsomz an yu needz litsen him!!" Den teh Priscilla an teh Aquila sedz "Oh hai! comz wit us an wees teeched yu teh Jebus!!!!!!" An Apolloz wuz liek "Yu learns me teh Jebus!?" an dey wentz to der hows.

27 Den Apolloz wuz leik "Iz wanna go to teh Achia." an teh bruthurs wus leik "Den go, itz kewl." Den teh bruthurs wrot to teh oter desypulz dat Apolloz wuz kewl.28 Den Apolloz gots to teh Achia an sedz "I refoot teh joos!!!!!!" An Apolloz proovd frum teh biybul dat teh Jeebuz wuz teh Chriyst.

Acts 18
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