Acts 1

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New Testament

1 K so dis iz seccand book 'bout teh Jesus. furst waz Luke, dis iz Acks, k?2 So Jesus wnt up to teh hevuns after tellin teh apossels "Oh hai, go preech, kthxbai"3 Cuz, srsly, he rose from teh ded, srsly, and he waz here 4 liek siks wekes goin ceilings grate.4 He waz liek "Oh hai, guyz, stai in Jerusalem 4 a wile, k? Mah dad has sumthin 4 u5 Iz not water, iz HoverCat, k?"

6 So aposells wer liek "D00d, r u gonna maek Israel has cookie again?"

7 N Jesus waz liek "IDK but mah dad noes teh stuff8 And u guyz gonna get teh HoverCat and preech bout me all ovar teh urths, srsly."

9 After he sed this stuff he went to teh hole in ceiling on invisible escalator.

Acts 1
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