3 John 1

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New Testament

1 In teh beginning there woz a Meow, and teh Meow was with Ceiling Cat, and teh Meow woz Ceiling Cat.2 Meow woz alwayz with Ceiling Cat coz they were tight3 Ceiling Cat made everthin' coz he wuz bored4 Ceiling Cat ate sum men, an they woz in him5 Satan Puppeh did nawt unerstan'6 Ceiling Cat spat up one manz who iz cald John7 He sez: OMGZ! I HAZ SEEN CEILING CAT!8 He wozn't as l33t as Ceiling Cat tho9 Ceiling Cat alrdy left teh earth-party10 No1 besids John new wot Ceiling Cat lookd like tho11 So they didn't say HAI! An now Ceiling Cat waz all: Why u no says HAI?12 If u says HAI! 2 Ceiling Cat he will purr 4 u cause it makez him happeh13 But u can't be bornz of teh manz, u must be bornz of teh Ceiling Cat14 When Ceiling Cat came to teh earth-party John sed: OMGZ! I HAZ SEEN CEILING CAT!15 Then he kept trying to point him out but no1 saw him16 He went on about all of Ceiling Cat's g00d wurks17 An den went on 'bout laws and shit18 Den he said: Actually, I haz not seen Ceiling Cat.19 Teh priests all went to see John and sed: Who are you?20 Den he stood on a table and shouted: I IZ NOT TEH CHRIST KITTY!21 Teh people said: Stfu! Who are u?!22 An cuz John wudent giv a strait anzer tey aksd agin23 An John sed: I am a disimbodeed voyce in teh desert24 An teh preistz25 sed: r u high?26 John sez: No, I baptize wit water even tho Ceiling Cat hates it27 An ther iz one wit u whos sandles I wont tuch kthxbai!28 BTW! They woz in Jordan

3 John 1
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