3 John 1

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1 In teh beginning there woz a Meow, and teh Meow was with Ceiling Cat, and teh Meow woz Ceiling Cat.2 Meow woz alwayz with Ceiling Cat coz they were tight3 Ceiling Cat made everything coz he's bored4 Ceiling Cat ate sum men, they woz in him5 Satan kitty did not understand6 Ceiling cat spat up one man called John7 He sez: I HAZ SEEN CEILING KITTY8 He wozn't as l33t as Ceiling Cat tho9 Ceiling Cat already left teh earth-party10 No one else knew wot Ceiling Kitty looked like tho11 So they didn't say HAI! Ceiling Kitty was upset12 If you say hai to Ceiling Kitty he will purr13 But u can't be born of a human, you must be born of Ceiling Kitty14 When Ceiling Kitty came to teh earth-party John sed: I haz seen Ceiling Kitty!15 Then he kept trying to point him out but no1 saw him16 He went on about all of Ceiling Kitty's g00d wurks17 An den went on 'bout laws and shit18 Den he said: Actually, I haz not seen Ceiling Kitty.19 Teh priests all went to see John and sed: Who are you?20 Den he stood on a table and shouted: I IZ NOT TEH CHRIST KITTY!21 Teh people said: Stfu! Who are you?22 An cuz John wouldnt give a straight answer they asked again23 An John sed: I am a disembodied voice in teh desert24 An teh priests25 sed: R you high?26 John sez: No, I baptize wit water even tho Ceiling Kitty hates it27 An there is one with u whose sandals I wont touch kthanx!28 BTW! They woz in Jordan

3 John 1
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