2 Samuel 6
From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Teh ark brought 2 jerusalem
1 david again brought togethr out ov israel chosen doodz, thirty thousand in all.2 he an all his doodz set out frum baalah ov judah [a] 2 brin up frum thar teh ark ov ceilin cat, which iz calld by teh naym, [b] teh naym ov teh lord almighty, hoo iz enthrond tween teh cherubim dat r on teh ark.3 they set teh ark ov ceilin cat on new cart an brought it frum teh houz ov abinadab, which wuz on teh hill. Uzzah an ahio, sons ov abinadab, wuz guidin teh new cart4 wif teh ark ov ceilin cat on it, [c] an ahio wuz walkin in frunt ov it.
5 david an teh whole houz ov israel wuz celebratin wif all their mite before teh lord, wif songs [d] an wif harps, lyrez, tambourinez, sistrums an cymbals.6 when they came 2 teh threshin floor ov nacon, uzzah reachd out an took hold ov teh ark ov ceilin cat, cuz teh oxen stumbld.7 teh lordz angr burnd against uzzah cuz ov his irreverent act; therefore ceilin cat struck him down an he did thar beside teh ark ov ceilin cat.
8 den david wuz angry cuz teh lordz wrath had brokd out against uzzah, an 2 dis dai dat place iz calld perez uzzah. [e]9 david wuz afraid ov teh lord dat dai an sed, "how can teh ark ov teh lord evr come 2 me?"10 he wuz not willin 2 taek teh ark ov teh lord 2 be wif him in da city ov david. Instead, he took it aside 2 teh houz ov obd-edom teh gittite.11 teh ark ov teh lord remaind in da houz ov obd-edom teh gittite 4 3 months, an teh lord blesd him an his entire haushold.
12 nao king david wuz told, "teh lord has blesd teh haushold ov obd-edom an evrythin he has, cuz ov teh ark ov ceilin cat." so david went down an brought up teh ark ov ceilin cat frum teh houz ov obd-edom 2 teh city ov david wif rejoicin.13 when dose hoo wuz carryin teh ark ov teh lord had taken 6 steps, he sacrificd bull an fattend calf.14 david, wearin linen efod, dancd before teh lord wif all his mite,15 while he an teh entire houz ov israel brought up teh ark ov teh lord wif shouts an teh sound ov trumpets.16 as teh ark ov teh lord wuz enterin teh city ov david, michal daughtr ov saul watchd frum window. An when she saw king david leapin an dancin before teh lord, she despisd him in her hart.17 they brought teh ark ov teh lord an set it in itz place inside teh tent dat david had pitchd 4 it, an david sacrificd burnt offerings an fellowship offerings [f] before teh lord.18 aftr he had finishd sacrificin teh burnt offerings an fellowship offerings, he blesd teh peeps in da naym ov teh lord almighty.19 den he gaev loaf ov bread, caek ov datez an caek ov raisins 2 each person in da whole crowd ov israelitez, both doodz an women. An all teh peeps went 2 their homez.
20 when david returnd home 2 bles his haushold, michal daughtr ov saul came out 2 meet him an sed, "how teh king ov israel has distinguishd him todai, disrobin in da sight ov teh slave gurls ov his servants as any vulgar fellow wud!"21 david sed 2 michal, "it wuz before teh lord, hoo chose me rathr than ur fathr or anyone frum his houz when he appointd me rulr ovar teh lordz peeps israelâ€”im gonna celebrate before teh lord.22 im gonna become even moar undignifid than dis, an im gonna be humiliatd in mah own eyez. But by thees slave gurls u spoke ov, im gonna be held in honor."23 an michal daughtr ov saul had no children 2 teh dai ov her death.
- a - 2 samuel 6:2 dat iz, kiriath jearim; hebrew baale judah , variant ov baalah ov judah
- b - 2 samuel 6:2 hebrew; septuagint an vulgate do not has teh naym .
- c - 2 samuel 6:4 ded sea scrolls an sum septuagint manuscripts; masoretic text cart 4 an they brought it wif teh ark ov ceilin cat frum teh houz ov abinadab, which wuz on teh hill
- d - 2 samuel 6:5 c ded sea scrolls, septuagint an 1 chroniclez 13:8; masoretic text celebratin before teh lord wif all kindz ov instruments made ov pine.
- e - 2 samuel 6:8 perez uzzah meanz outbreak against uzzah .
- f - 2 samuel 6:17 tradishunally peace offerings ; also in verse 18
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