2 Samuel 14

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Absalom returns 2 jerusalem

1 joab son ov zeruiah knew dat teh kings ♥ longd 4 absalom.2 so joab sent someone 2 tekoa an had wize woman brought frum thar. He sed 2 her, "pretend u r in mournin. Dres in mournin clothez, an doan use any cosmetic loshuns. Act liek woman hoo has spent lotz da dais grievin 4 da ded. 3 den go 2 teh king an speek thees werdz 2 him." an joab put teh werdz in her mouth.4 when teh woman frum tekoa went [a] 2 teh king, she fell wif her face 2 teh ground 2 pai him honor, an she sed, "halp me, o king!"5 teh king askd her, "wut iz troublin u?" She sed, "im inded widow; mah husband iz ded.6 i ur servant had 2 sons. They got into fight wif each othr in da field, an no wan wuz thar 2 separate them. Wan struck teh othr an killd him.7 nao teh whole clan has risen up against ur servant; they say, hand ovar teh wan hoo struck his brothr down, so dat we cud put him 2 death 4 da life ov his brothr whom he killd; den we will git rid ov teh heir as well. They wud put out teh only burnin coal i has left, leavin mah husband neithr naym nor descendant on teh face ov teh earth."8 teh king sed 2 teh woman, "go home, an im gonna issue an ordr in ur behalf."9 but teh woman frum tekoa sed 2 him, "mah lord teh king, let teh blame rest on me an on mah fathers pplz, an let teh king an his throne be without guilt."10 teh king replid, "if anyone sez anythin 2 u, brin him 2 me, an he will not bothr u again."11 she sed, "den let teh king invoke teh lord his ceilin cat 2 prevent teh avengr ov blood frum addin 2 teh destrucshun, so dat mah son will not be destroyd." "as surely as teh lord livez," he sed, "not wan hair ov ur sons head will fall 2 teh ground."12 den teh woman sed, "let ur servant speek werd 2 mah lord teh king." "speek," he replid.13 teh woman sed, "y den has u devisd ting liek dis against teh peeps ov ceilin cat? When teh king sez dis, doez he not convict him, 4 da king has not brought bak his banishd son?14 liek watr spilld on teh ground, which cant be recoverd, so we must dye. But ceilin cat doez not taek away life; instead, he devisez ways so dat banishd person cud not remain estrangd frum him.15 "an nao i has come 2 say dis 2 mah lord teh king cuz teh peeps has made me afraid. Ur servant thot, im gonna speek 2 teh king; perhaps he will do wut his servant askz.16 perhaps teh king will agree 2 delivr his servant frum teh hand ov teh man hoo iz tryin 2 cut off both me an mah son frum teh inheritance ceilin cat gaev us.17 "an nao ur servant sez, cud teh werd ov mah lord teh king brin me rest, 4 mah lord teh king iz liek an angel ov ceilin cat in discernin gud an evil. Cud teh lord ur ceilin cat be wif u. "18 den teh king sed 2 teh woman, "do not keep frum me teh anzwr 2 wut im goin 2 ask u." "let mah lord teh king speek," teh woman sed.19 teh king askd, "isnt teh hand ov joab wif u in all dis?" Teh woman anzwerd, "as surely as u liv, mah lord teh king, no wan can turn 2 teh rite or 2 teh left frum anythin mah lord teh king sez. Yez, it wuz ur servant joab hoo instructd me 2 do dis an hoo put all thees werdz into teh mouth ov ur servant.20 ur servant joab did dis 2 change teh present situashun. Mah lord has wisdom liek dat ov an angel ov ceilin cat—he knows evrythin dat happens in da land."21 teh king sed 2 joab, "vry well, im gonna do it. Go, brin bak teh young man absalom."22 joab fell wif his face 2 teh ground 2 pai him honor, an he blesd teh king. Joab sed, "todai ur servant knows dat he has findz favor in ur eyez, mah lord teh king, cuz teh king has grantd his servants request."23 den joab went 2 geshur an brought absalom bak 2 jerusalem.24 but teh king sed, "he must go 2 his own houz; he must not c mah face." so absalom went 2 his own houz an did not c teh face ov teh king.25 in all israel thar wuz not man so highly praisd 4 his handsome appearance as absalom. Frum teh top ov his head 2 teh sole ov his foot thar wuz no blemish in him.26 whenevr he cut teh hair ov his head he usd 2 cut his hair frum tiem 2 tiem when it became 2 heavy 4 him—he wud weigh it, an itz weight wuz 2 hundrd shekels [b] by teh royal standard.27 3 sons an daughtr wuz born 2 absalom. Teh daughters naym wuz tamar, an she became beautiful woman.28 absalom livd 2 yeers in jerusalem without seein teh kings face.29 den absalom sent 4 joab in ordr 2 send him 2 teh king, but joab refusd 2 come 2 him. So he sent second tiem, but he refusd 2 come.30 den he sed 2 his servants, "look, joabs field iz next 2 mine, an he has barley thar. Go an set it on fire." so absaloms servants set teh field on fire.31 den joab did go 2 absaloms houz an he sed 2 him, "y has ur servants set mah field on fire?"32 absalom sed 2 joab, "look, i sent werd 2 u an sed, come her so i can send u 2 teh king 2 ask, "y has i come frum geshur? It wud be bettr 4 me if i wuz still thar!" nao den, i wants 2 c teh kings face, an if im guilty ov anythin, let him put me 2 death."33 so joab went 2 teh king an told him dis. Den teh king summond absalom, an he came in an bowd down wif his face 2 teh ground before teh king. An teh king kisd absalom.

Teh Footnotez

  • a - 2 samuel 14:4 lotz da hebrew manuscripts, septuagint, vulgate an syriac; most hebrew manuscripts spoke
  • b - 2 samuel 14:26 dat iz, bout 5 poundz (bout 2.3 kilograms)
2 Samuel 14
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