2 Peter 2

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New Testament

Fulse Profutz

1 But dey iz fulse profutz in ur peepuls teachun ur heresiesez, flamun teh Ceiling Cat and bringun teh pwnage on demselfz.2 Lotz of kittehs iz followun dem, flamun teh lolcatz.3 And dey iz gonna try an makes u teh flameh 2, cus u hazunt been judgeded bai teh Ceiling Cat yet, and srsly dey wont stop - dey dunt evun slepe cus dey iz havun teh redbullz.

4 Cus dey is actun leik Ceiling Cat duesnt forguvded teh wall cats dat sin,5 Leik Him hazunt saved teh Noah kitteh from gettun wetz.6 Leik Him hazunt pwnt teh sofaz of Sodom and Gomorrha az exampulz;7 Leik Him dusnt forgiveded Lot8 (Lot wus frendz wif teh flamerz but dusnt flame himself)

Lead uz not into teh Temptachuns

9 Teh Ceiling Cat iz knowun how 2 stop teh temptachuns (evun cheezburguh) and also how Him iz punishun teh sinnahz:10 Specshally dem sinnahs dat is after teh secksy-timez. Dem kittehs who iz seckzoring jus for demselfz rathuh than wif teh spouse.11 Wif Wall cats, kittehs isunt abul to say whethuh or not dey iz bein judgeded teh same, kthx.

12 But normal kittehs iz gonna be pwnt bai tehy sins an corrupshun.13 Dey iz srsly gunna be pwnt by teh Ceiling Cat. They iz sinnahs and leik teh pimpuls, dey iz obvius about teh sinzoring.14 Dey has eyez full of teh seckzor and cant stop teh seckzoring. Dey iz havin teh baby kittehs taht iz den curseded 2, srsly.15 Dey is leik Ballaam16 Ballaam iz a dumb-ass lol!17 Dey is leik saucerz wif no milkz, dey iz leik teh bad weathuh for flying teh ivisibul plaen.18 Dey meow about teh seckzors, drugzors and rock'n'rollz and iz temptin teh otheh kittehs19 Dey is promisun this stuff but dey iz messed up and likun teh bondage lol!

20 If dey is knowin about Ceiling Cat and den doin teh bondage and stuff, den iz worse than if they wusnt hearing about teh Ceiling Cat.

21 Srsly.

22 Is liek teh puppeh who eateded his own vomit (ewww) and teh piggeh who iz playin in teh doo doo, lol!

2 Peter 2
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