2 Corinthians 11

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1 Plz to b forgivnush uv mai fulishnush, as yu liek to do.2 Ai haz jeluz ov yu wif Ceiling Cat jeluzzy.3 Ai sed to ur husbund, "yu can haz her, k?" cuz yu wuz virgin kitteh. But, EveCat haz decieevin bi Basement Cat, an yur mynds went liek AlleyCat from Jebus.4 Cuz if a kitteh comse to yu, an mews abowt sum othr kitteh not Jebus, or yu haz sum othr spyrut frum wens yu axcepted, you noe haz cheeseburgerz.5 But Ai not haz inferiowriti to ApostleCats.6 Ai no haz purrfect mouwf but Ai haz brainz. Ai haz told yu, agen an agen, srsly!

7 Ai no haz invisible error fuh meh to b Apostle Kitteh b mewin abowt Ceiling Cat's werdz.8 Ai gots cheezeburgerz frum othr congrigayshuns! No haz dem frum yu!9 An ai wuz wif yu, an sed can I haz fud? An yu sed oh noes yu PWND! Ai tryd to maek it so dat ai not be burdenz fuh yu an wil awlwais b liek dat.10 As Jebus b een meh, His truf een meh tu! Achaiakittehs say so, srsly. Dey haz RAWR, srsly.11 Wai? Cuz ai no haz luv fuh yu? I HAZ LUV FUH YU!12 An Ai keep goin, plz to b makin othr kittehs liek13 Monorail Kitteh butt yu sed frum teh toylut bowl u no wantz teh toylut bowl. Oh noes!15 Cuz yu b hazin plaztik kittehs, ebil kittehs seyin dey Apostle Kitteh. DO NOT WANT! Dey end up en teh toylut bowl wif yu.

16 I sed agen: I not haz fulishnush, rly! Yu haz eet, den yu axcept meh liek deh plaztik kittehs yu heer. Ai can haz boasting, kthnkbai.17 Ai no talk liek Jebus, butt az jokr.18 Der b plaztik kittehs dat tawk abowt demself, ai gunna do dat too.19 Yu liek jokr kittehs an lissen to dem, yu fink yu haz cheeseburgerz fuh dat, srsly?!20 Srsly, yu liek anny kitteh dat lievs en teh toylut bowl an dat PWNS yu.21 Mai congrigayshun FTW! Wi not haz fulishnush liek yu.

22 Yu haz heebru? I HAZ EET! Yu haz Izrayalites? I HAZ EET! Yu haz kitteh of Abraham Kitteh? I HAZ EET!23 U haz lieknesh ov Jebus? I HAZ EET MOWR DAN YU! I haz mowr cheeseburgerz dan yu24 cuz ai wuz en da toylut bowl.25 Ai wuz en da littrboxz! Ai wuz frown wif rox! I sed can I haz a ship dat no crash? Jebus sed PWND, noes yu gunna crash, kthnxbai.26 MANUEL SEZ SELF-CLEENIN! Ai waz en dangur!27 Ai werk an werk awl dai lowng, can I haz slepe? NOES. Can I haz fud? NOES. Ai can haz warm, rly?! NOES!28 Ai haz prssur frum othr congrigayshunz dat ai luv.29 U haz da weeknesh an Ai no haz eet. U haz invisible error an Ai not haz teh ebil fyre en meh.

30 I haz bowst. Rly, Srsly.31 Teh Ceiling Cat, Kitteh ov Jebus, plz to giev yr cheeseburgers to Heem, noes dat Ai no haz deceet heer.32 Aretas Cat tryd to put meh en teh toylut bowl but Ceiling Cat haides meh frum heem!33 Ai wuz put in bukkit, an takn frum teh citi, rly.

2 Corinthians 11
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