2 Chronicles 25

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Contents

Bad kettehs can no have edom k?

1 amaziah wuz 25 yeers old when he can has kinzdom an he reignd in jerusalem 4 26 yeers (dats 312 months k?) His mommys naym wuz geoadd'm, an geoadd'm wuz frum jerusalem az wells, coincidenced ov cuorse.2 he lizen 2 da ceiling cat, hez had ben nice ketteh, but wen ceiling cat not be in Urth watching amaziah, he not have lizen 2 da Ceiling Cat, amaziah reelle badd ketteh, amazin no?3 afer he gotted good da kinzdom e pwn teh n00bs hoo pwned teh daddai ov amaziah;4 he not have pwn teh n00bz bbz, e lizen 2 da book da moses and utter stouffs cuz in da book da moses ceiling cat say you have no pwned 2 teh n00bz bbz, you have pwned 2 teh N00bz dou.5 amaziah muzered (stuv 2 have awn hotdogz srlsy) judah en benjamin wit leederz of lotz. he is in anzestral howzez countin ur 20 yeer olds.6 he is in israel buying warrier kettehs with ur silvar dizez.7 uh good ketteh sayed ceiling cat sayed teh israel kettehs iz bad kettehs.8 tell israel kettehs 2 take a nap.9 amaziah sayed i is in israel buying warrier kettehs with ur silvar dizez, day was nice dizez, end beeseids ceiling cat not have see me be bad keeteh. good ketteh sayed "ceiling cat haz lots silvar dizez en ceiling 4 u.10 amaziah likes teh silvar dizez soe e sent teh israel kittehs to taked nap, teh kittehs saded.11 amaziah ten taked iz kettehs (but noe israel bad kettehs k?) an e be in ur salt killen de seers, cuz teh seers r bad kettehs.12 teh judah kettehs is in yur summit ov sofa killen de seers, day been pushd, masif ovrkills.13 teh israel kettehs have no nap, teh israel kittehs r bad kettehs (ceiling cat sayed teh tooth) et teh bad israel kettehs r in ur juda frum samaria 2 beth's horon killen ur 3,000 pplz, en took mur silvar dizez pur dur ketteh foad.

Amaziah ez bad ketteh, amazin fakt

14 amaziah be back frum iz killen uv de edom kettehs (deh seer kettehs ez en edom no mur btw) he broughted teh Leakee Ceiling Cat uv teh seer kettehs, en amaziah gives teh cheeseburgerz 2 da Leakee Ceiling Cat ensted uv teh Ceiling Cat (evn tow da seer ceiling fan cat ez not reel en don evn liked teh cheeseburgrz)15 Ceiling Cat sayed 2 amaziah "I be in ur hed making ur heer me cuz I have angr, u gives teh cheeseburgerz 2 da Leakee Ceiling Cat evn tow u kilz teh seer kettehs uv edom fur teh vry same stuffs!"16 amaziah have no lizens 4 da Ceiling Cat, en teh Ceiling Cat sayed "u r en biged trobel 4 dis, u will be kilt like u kilt da seer kettehs, btw Leakee Ceiling Cat iz not reel, i iz not have maken em cuz kettehs hav no yoos 4 leakee ceilings btw."

Amaziah kilt

17 kinz amaziah uv judah sented kettehs 2 joash (wooz daddie ez jehoahaz whooz daddie ez jehu whooz teh kinz uv teh israel kettehs btw) hoo sayed "let us be looken ketteh 2 ketteh"18 joash sented kettes 2 amaziah hoo sayed "teh thistles be in ur cedars uv lebanon asken 2 b married, teh thistles kilt by tes wildebeasts btw"19 omg wtf saz amaziah, and joash explened teh meenin "you have no cheeseburgerz." amaziah is ensoulted cuz he has mani uv teh cheeseburgerz.20 Diz iz awl teh plan uv Ceiling Cat 2 soon hav amaziah kilt btw.21 Ten amaziah en hiz kettehs en joash uv israel en hiz kettehs be in ur Beth's shemesh (not her horon, cuz Beth's horon kilt bie teh bad israel kettehs) so tey can pwn teh uttrz n00bs.22 israel pwned judah, srsly.23 kinz joash pwned amaziah, kinz uv judah, whooz daddie ez joash whooz daddie is jehoahaz en all uv dat. Ten joash went 2 Jerusalem (nice place en judah btw) en he uberpwned all teh sofas with tur clauz, evn teh nice unz.24 he be in teh house uv Ceiling Cat stealing all ov teh silvar dizez (evn teh gawld uns) en btw Leakee Ceiling Cat b4 gaw 10 2 4 ev ur cuz uv dis.25 amaziah, whooz daddie ez joash, kinz uv judah, wuz kilt 15 yeers aftur joash whooz daddie wuz jehoahaz, kinz uv israel, started all dis businezez with Obed-edom.[a]26 teh rest uv teh stuffs uv amaziah can be found en teh book: Kingz uv Judah en Israel (tis book not fownd enyware cuz teh turch uv Ceiling Cat brnd awl de copees cuz it wuz u borin reed)27 now mani yeers after amaziah started givn hiz cheeseburgerz 2 Leakee Ceiling Cat ensted uv Ceiling Cat (az iz ow ting should be dun) amaziah went off to lachish cuz teh good ketteh have no like 4 amaziah (cuz amaziah bad ketteh) en teh good kettehz be in ur lachish killin ur amaziah.28 cuz tay r good kettehz tey bareed amaziah with all uv his mani mani daddies (like jehoahaz en all uv dos guys) en dah citee uv judah.[b] Srsly, Ceiling Cat wins evry time.

Teh Footnotez

  • a - 2 chroniclez 25:24 Obed-edom, utter nam 4 teh Leakee Ceiling Cat uv teh seers.
  • b - 2 chroniclez 25:28 citee uv judah ez jerusalem btw.
2 Chronicles 25
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