2 Chronicles 16

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2 Chronicles 16

Asa's last yeers

1 In teh thirty-sixth yeer of Asa's tiem as Head Kitteh Baasha Head Kitteh of teh Israel peeps tryd to Pk Joodah and fortifyd 

Ramah to prevent any kittehs fr0m coeming fr0m or going t00 teh territory of Asa Head Kitteh of teh peeps of Joodah.

2 Asa (teh head kitteh d00d) then took teh toys and goldfish out of teh treasuries of Ceiling Cat's temple and of his own palace and sent it to Ben-Hadad 

Head Kitteh of Aram, who was bein head kitteh in Damascus. 3 "Let thaer be a treaty between me and you," he sed, "as thaer wuz between my daddeh kitteh and your daddeh kitteh. L00k, I are sending yew toys and goldfish. Nao break yur treaty with Baasha Head Kitteh of teh Israel peeps so he will leeve me al0ne."

4 Ben-Hadad (teh head kitteh of Aram) agreed with King Asa (teh head kitteh of Joodah) and sent teh army kittehs of his forces against teh towns of Israel. They conquered Ijon, Dan, Abel Maim and all the store cities of Naphtali. Srsly. 5 When Baasha (the OTHER Head Kitteh d00d) herd da noows, he stawped bilding Ramah and left his wurk. 6 Then Head Kitteh Asa brought all the dood kittehs of Joodah, and they carried away from Ramah the stones and timber and goldfish Baasha had been using. With them he built up Geba and Mizpah.

7 At dat tiem Hanani da seer kitteh caem to Asa Head Kitteh of Judah and sed to him: "Because yu relied on the Head Kitteh of Aram and not on the Ceiling Cat your God, teh army of the Head Kitteh of Aram has escaped from yur paw. 8 Were not the Cushites and Libyans a mighty army with t0ns of strong fighting kittehs? Yet when yu relied on teh Ceiling Cat, he delivered dem into yur paw. 9 For the eyes of the Ceiling Cat range throughout the erfs to strengthen those kittehs whose hearts are fully committed to him. Yu have been a dumb kitteh, and from nao on yu will be fightinz wif other kittehs. Srsly."

10 Asa Head Kitteh of Joodah was mad wif teh seer kitteh because of this; he wuz so enraged dat he put teh d00d in a traveling cage. At da saem tiem Asa wuz very meen to some kittehs.

11 Teh events of Asa's tiem as Head Kitteh, from beginning to end, are written in da book of the Head Kittehs of Joodah and Israel. 12  In teh thirty-ninth yeer 

of Asa's teim as Head Kitteh, teh d00d wuz afflikted wif a dizeese in his paws. Though his dizeese wuz reely bad, even in his siknes he did not meow to Ceiling Cat for som helpz, but only from the doktor kittehs. 13 Then in teh forty-first year of his tiem as Head Kitteh Asa mewed his last mew and goed to sleepz wif his daddeh kittehs. 14 Dey buried him in teh tomb dat he had maed for himself in teh City of David. Dey laid him on a bier covered with katnips and awsum blended perfumes and stuffs dat smelld rly gud, and dey maed big flaemz four him cuz he wuz ded. Srsly.

Old Testament
2 Chronicles 16
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