1 Timothy 5

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New Testament
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Helps fr Widows, teh Old Kittehs, an teh Slaivs

1 No yellin at teh older kittehz if they no heer yu. Treat liek Dadcat. Teh yungr tomkittehs,2 treat themz liek they iz yur broz, and teh old laydi cats, treat liek yur muddrs, an yung gurlz liek ur sistrs, no funnee biznus.

3 Teh old laydi kittehs, yu halps dem wif teh groseries.4 But if teh widow has kittehs, tel teh kittehs to halp her intsted. Famulies taek caer of each ohter: Ceiling Cat lieks dis.5 Teh old kittehs who has no bebe kittehs, Celing Cat will halp her.6 But not if she iz bad kitteh. Den she mite as wel be ded.7 Maek shurz yu tel evry1 bout dis. Iz imprtint, srsly.8 Any1z who not do dis, then Ceiling Cat iz mad. Shoot wif teh lazer eyes. Pew! Pew!

9 Teh old kittehz, they shud be gud,10 taekin caer of teh yungr kittehs nd halpin kittehz who needz it.

11 Sum of teh yungr kittehs, who haz teh ded huzbnds, teh is not gud, they is not lisning 2 teh Ceiling Cat nd iz getin maryd agan.12 Iz not gud. Ceiling Cat getz mad at teh kittehs liek dis.13 Also, they iz maekin evry1 mad, startn teh fites nd sai bad ting bout teh otehr kittehs.14 So teh yungr kittehs, they shud getz maryd, nd haz lotz of bebe kittehs. Tat wai they no cauz teh trubles15 liek teh kittehz who followz teh Basement Cat.16 If a laydi kitteh haz widowz in her hoems. She haz to taek caer of dem and kaep em to 'erself so dat teh church can taek care of teh widows hu srsly need halp.17 teh eylderz shudz get dublez oner.18 babbeh itz dus sai tu muzzles ma ouxs. srsly. [b]Teh kittehs desurv wagez.19 Dun nut plai funnehz onz da kitteh inz da skie unles all da babeh kittehs haz sean it.20 da kittehz thart awe baaad musht bwe useded as worningz in puplec.21 Ai, inz teh siht of da celinz kitteh andz aul hies babehs to nout favorute onez kitteh.22 Beh a puor kitteh.23 Whiyne willz cuor all kittehz ilnusses.24 Sinz of man kitteh is easie.25 Goud daedz of man kitteh is easie.

Teh l33ts of teh church
1 Timothy 5
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