1 Thessalonians 4

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1 Finely, bros, we told u how 2 live liek Ceiling Cat sez n as you r. Now we ast u to be moar n moar gud 4 baby Jebus. 2 4 u know wut we tole u from baby Jebus.

3 Ceiling Cat wants u 2 go in Invisible ways n not have teh bad sekks. 4 N each 1 uv u keeps hiz pawz 2 himself 5 n not be humpin evrytihng liek alley catz in teh heat 'k? Cuz tehy don kno taht Celing Cat is watching em masturbate. 6 N don be humpin ur bros srsly taht is liek rly gross, k? Ceiling Cat will srsly pwn catz who do dis liek I toled u b4. 7 Ceiling Cat wantz u to b gud n baff selfz with tungz. 8 n if u don lissen 2 Ceiling Cat u b rejecting Ceiling Cat who sez u can haz Hover Cat.

9 U is luvin teh lolcatz 4 sure bcuz we kno Ceiling Cat taught u 2 b luvin. 10 N u luv all teh bros in Macedonia. U shd luv em maor, but wifout teh humpin liek I sed. Srsly. 11 stfu, myob, n work wif ur pawz n tungz liek we told u, killin mousies n stuffz. 12 so teh uvver lolcats will be ur frenz but not has 2 give u cheezburgrs n cookiez n catnip. Tehse u getz on ur own wif ur pawz.

13 Bros, we wantz u to know about teh ded catz so u not b n00bz. 14 We kno taht baby Jebus taek teh invisible escalator after he haz ded, n so we believe ded catz will 2. 15 We who iz still alive don go first wen baby Jebus taek invisible escalator 2nd tiem. Teh ded catz will. 16 4 baby Jebus taek invisible escalator down from ceiling, n maek lotz of noise n all teh ded catz will come out of teh groun n taek teh invisible escalator 2. We're in ur urf re-animatin ur corpses. 17 After dat, teh lolcats taht still livin taek invisible escalator 2 ceiling. Up in teh air wif all tohse ded catz. omgwtfbbq. But we b wif baby Jebus n dat makez us teh happycatz. 18 So u be happy bout floatin aroun wif all teh ded catz even tho tahts so weird. kthxbye.

1 Thessalonians 4
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