1 Thessalonians 3

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1 So wen we wuz liek, "IZ TU MUCH! I NEEDZ BRAEK!", we wunted tu be aloen in teh Athens.2 We sended Timothy, cuz hez r bruddr an wurkf wif teh Ceiling Cat, tu maeks ur fayth strawngr,3 so dat dey iz not feelin bad fr teh trials. Cuz yu no dat it has tu happin.4 Srsly, we telled yu we gunna be persecooted.5 So, I sended Timothy to findz tings abowt ur relijun. Iz very scaerd dat sumwun mite hav temptd yu, an den it wood be fr nuffing.

Timothys happycat report

6 Iz gud tho. Timothy comed bak n sez u r0x. Him sez us r in ur headz, maekin gud memorees an him sez dat u wanned tu hanged owt wif us and das cul too.7 So evn do i wuz ben persacooted i was cul cuz whn ai thot abowt awl da faythe u gotz. Srsly.8 Cuz now us can has lief cuz ur stayin troo to Ceiling Cat.9 Lol I dunno hou us can gib Ceiling Cat enuff cheezburgerz fur awl the lulz him gibs.10 Eben whn its drk (but iz okayz cuz i can has vizion eben at nights) ai aks Ceiling Cat if is cul fur us tu hang outs agan.11 Teh ceelin cat hemslf can giv us map markrs to yur twenty.12 Mai teh ceelin cat maek ur luvs biggar an' maek it ovrflow just liek teh bathrum afta hoomins.13 Mai he be in ur hart upgradin ur strength so yull be wifout errors in teh persence of ceelin cat an daddy wehn Jebus comes wif teh holie ones.

1 Thessalonians 3
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