1 Samuel 6

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Old Testament

1 + teh ceiling catz holi litrbox is in Filibusters house fr liek 7 mnths. Srsly.2 + teh Filibusters aks teh ppl what petz teh ceiling cat + teh vets + theyr all liek "ceiling cats holi litrbox DO NOT WANT!!!! tel us wt 2 do w/it pls, n we do that."3 The're all "make it gowai, but send sum gif w/it 2 say sry, n yu no has itchybutts no more, n yu no y ceiling cat makes diz happenz."4 + theyr all "wt we giv 4 gif 2 sai sry?" n they say "maek sum arsegrapez fm gold, n sum meecez as wel, same numbrz as numberz of bosses of teh Filibusters, 4 dis happendz to teh bosses n evrybdy else 2.5 So if yu maek teh arsegrapez n teh meecez 2 respect ceiling cat, mbe ceiling cat not stepz down so hard. we just say dat. k, we sed it agen.6 y 4 yu put out yr clawz like teh boss f teh Eejits? Did not Ceiling Cat not let m go after he plai w/them?7 so get new truck n getz 2 moocows 2 drive itz, but keep teh baby moocows.8 + put teh litrbox in a box, n put teh box in teh truck w/teh gifs 2 say sry, + letm go.9 + if it goez to Beth-Shemesh in Ceiling Cat country we no iz Ceiling Cat what is doez dis 2 us. But if it goez sumplace else, we no iz not ceiling cat n we got itchybutts just coz."

10 so dey do dat, n put teh moocows in teh truck, n keepz teh baby moocows.11 + tehy put teh holi litrbox in teh truck, n teh box wif teh golden meecez n teh golden arsegrapes. We sai dis already. Get on w/it.12 + teh moocws drive truck strate to Beth-Shemesh, goin moo all teh tiem. Liek they spose 2 go meow r smthn????? w/e. + dey no go left r rite, n teh Filibusters bosses folowz dem 2 just b4 ceiling cat country.13 +teh ppeps in Beth-Shemesh mowin teh lawn, + teyh see teh litrbox in teh truck, n tehyz happyz.14 n teh moocwos crash teh truck into a big rock in Josh's garden, teh peeps blow up teh truck n set moocows on fier becz they think that maek celiling cat happy fr sum rsn. ??15 n teh levites (tey be teh gaiz fm teh jeans ads? i duno) got teh litrbox n teh gifs 4 say sry n put dem on teh big rock in Josh's garden, + teh ppl giv ceiling cat cheezbrgrs but dey burnded dem fr sum rsn.16 n wen teh 5 Filibusters bosses sawed it, theyr liek WTF??? n dey goez back to deyr house.

17 Luk at dese gold arsegrapes wot Filibusters made 2 say sry 2 ceiling cat! arnt tehy prity? 1 4 Asdod, 1 4 Gazza, 1 4 Askelon, 1 4 Gath, 1 4 Ekron18 + luk at teh gold meecez 2! 1 4 evry Filibuster house n catbed n garden n everythng. N luk at teh big rock in Josh's garden wer dey put ceiling cats litrbox 2 remembr what happendz 2day.

19 N Ceiling Cat PWNZ sum peeps coz tehy looked in his litrbox, liek 70 f dem! Spose Ceiling Cat has hiz dignity. U want ppl lukin at yr poop? But othr ppl full of sad bcz they frenz all ded.20 + teh ppl of Beth-Shemesh are all liek, ceiling cat DO NOT WANT!!!!! Gowai!!!!!21 So dey txt pepes in Kiriath-Jearim (wch taek long time 2 txt. srsly.) n say "teh Filibusters give back ceiling cats litrbox DO NOT WANT!!!! U want? Taek it. kthxbai."

1 Samuel 6
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