1 Samuel 31

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Old Testament
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Saul Goes "FAIL!"

1 1 nao teh filistinez fought against israel; teh israelitez fld before them, an lotz da fell slain on mount gilboa.2 teh filistinez presd hard aftr saul an his sons, an they killd his sons jonathan, abinadab an malki-shua.3 teh fightin grew fierce around saul, an when teh archers overtook him, they woundd him critically.

4 saul sed 2 his armor-bearr, "draw ur sword an run me thru, or thees uncircumcisd fellows will come an run me thru an abuse me." But his armor-bearr wuz terrifid an wud not do it; so saul took his own sword an fell on it.5 when teh armor-bearr saw dat saul wuz ded, he 2 fell on his sword an did wif him.

6 so saul an his 3 sons an his armor-bearr an all his doodz did togethr dat same dai.7 when teh israelitez along teh valley an dose acros teh jordan saw dat teh israelite army had fld an dat saul an his sons had did, they abandond their towns an fld. An teh filistinez came an occupid them.

8 teh next dai, when teh filistinez came 2 strip teh ded, they findz saul an his 3 sons fallen on mount gilboa.9 they cut off his head an strippd off his armor, an they sent mesengers throughout teh land ov teh filistinez 2 proclaim teh news in da temple ov their idols an among their peeps.10 they put his armor in da temple ov teh ashtoreths an fastend his body 2 teh wall ov beth shan.

11 when teh peeps ov jabesh gilead herd ov wut teh filistinez had dun 2 saul,12 all their valiant doodz journeyd thru teh nite 2 beth shan. They took down teh bodiez ov saul an his sons frum teh wall ov beth shan an went 2 jabesh, wer they burnd them.13 den they took their bonez an burid them undr tamarisk tree at jabesh, an they fastd 7 dais.

1 Samuel 31
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