1 Samuel 27
From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
David Amongz Teh Philistines
1 but david thot 2 him, "wan ov thees dais im gonna be destroyd by teh hand ov saul. Teh best ting i can do iz 2 escape 2 teh land ov teh filistinez. Den saul will giv up searchin 4 me anywhere in israel, an im gonna slip out ov his hand."
2 So david an teh 6 hundrd doodz wif him left an went ovar 2 achish son ov maoch king ov gath.3 David an his doodz settld in gath wif achish. Each man had his pplz wif him, an david had his 2 wivez: ahinoam ov jezreel an abigail ov carmel, teh widow ov nabal.4 when saul wuz told dat david had fld 2 gath, he no longr searchd 4 him.
5 den david sed 2 achish, "if i has findz favor in ur eyez, let place be assignd 2 me in wan ov teh country towns, dat i cud liv thar. Y shud ur servant liv in da royal city wif u?"6 so on dat dai achish gaev him ziklag, an it has belongd 2 teh kings ov judah evr since.7 david livd in filistine territory yer an 4 months.
8 nao david an his doodz went up an raidd teh geshuritez, teh girzitez an teh amalekitez. (frum ancient tiems thees peoplez had livd in da land extendin 2 shur an egypt.)9 whenevr david attackd an area, he did not leef man or woman aliv, but took sheep an kattle, donkeys an camels, an clothez. Den he returnd 2 achish.10 when achish askd, "wer did u go raidin todai?" david wud say, "against teh negev ov judah" or "against teh negev ov jerahmeel" or "against teh negev ov teh kenitez."11 he did not leef man or woman aliv 2 be brought 2 gath, 4 he thot, "they mite inform on us an say, dis ar teh wut david did. " an such wuz his practice as long as he livd in filistine territory.12 achish trustd david an sed 2 him, "he has become so odious 2 his peeps, teh israelitez, dat he will be mah servant forevr."