1 Samuel 26
From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
David again sparez sauls life
1 teh zifitez went 2 saul at gibeah an sed, "iz not david hidin on teh hill ov hakilah, which facez jeshimon?"2 so saul went down 2 teh desert ov zif, wif his 3 thousand chosen doodz ov israel, 2 search thar 4 david.3 saul made his camp beside teh road on teh hill ov hakilah facin jeshimon, but david stayd in da desert. When he saw dat saul had followd him thar,4 he sent out scouts an lernd dat saul had definitely arrivd. [a]5 den david set out an went 2 teh place wer saul had campd. He saw wer saul an abnr son ov ner, teh commandr ov teh army, had lain down. Saul wuz lyin inside teh camp, wif teh army encampd around him.
6 david den askd ahimelech teh hittite an abishai son ov zeruiah, joabs brothr, "hoo will go down into teh camp wif me 2 saul?" "ill go wif u," sed abishai.7 so david an abishai went 2 teh army by nite, an thar wuz saul, lyin asleep inside teh camp wif his spear stuck in da ground near his head. Abnr an teh soldiers wuz lyin around him.8 abishai sed 2 david, "todai ceilin cat has deliverd ur enemy into ur hanz. Nao let me pin him 2 teh ground wif wan thrust ov mah spear; i wont strike him twice."9 but david sed 2 abishai, "doan destroy him! Hoo can lay hand on teh lordz anointd an be guiltles?10 as surely as teh lord livez," he sed, "teh lord him will strike him; eithr his tiem will come an he will dye, or he will go into battle an perish.11 ut teh lord forbid dat i shud lay hand on teh lordz anointd. Nao git teh spear an watr jug dat r near his head, an lets go."
12 so david took teh spear an watr jug near sauls head, an they left. No wan saw or knew bout it, nor did anyone waek up. They wuz all sleepin, cuz teh lord had put them into deep sleep.13 den david crosd ovar 2 teh othr side an stood on top ov teh hill sum distance away; thar wuz wide space tween them.14 he calld out 2 teh army an 2 abnr son ov ner, "arent u goin 2 anzwr me, abnr?" Abnr replid, "hoo r u hoo calls 2 teh king?"15 david sed, "ure man, arent u? An hoo iz liek u in israel? Y didnt u guard ur lord teh king? Someone came 2 destroy ur lord teh king.16 wut u has dun iz not gud. As surely as teh lord livez, u an ur doodz deserve 2 dye, cuz u did not guard ur mastah, teh lordz anointd. Look around u. Wer r teh kings spear an watr jug dat wuz near his head?"
17 saul recognizd davidz voice an sed, "iz dat ur voice, david mah son?" David replid, "yez it iz, mah lord teh king."18 an he addd, "y iz mah lord pursuin his servant? Wut has i dun, an wut wrong iz i guilty ov?19 nao let mah lord teh king listen 2 his servants werdz. If teh lord has incitd u against me, den cud he accept an offerin. If, howevr, doodz has dun it, cud they be cursd before teh lord! They has nao driven me frum mah share in da lordz inheritance an has sed, go, serve othr godz.20 nao do not let mah blood fall 2 teh ground far frum teh presence ov teh lord. Teh king ov israel has come out 2 look 4 fleaâ€”as wan hunts partridge in da mountains."21 den saul sed, "i has sinnd. Come bak, david mah son. Cuz u considerd mah life preshus todai, im gonna not try 2 harm u again. Surely i has actd liek fool an has errd greatly."22 "her iz teh kings spear," david anzwerd. "let wan ov ur young doodz come ovar an git it.23 teh lord rewardz evry man 4 his righteousnes an faithfulnes. Teh lord deliverd u into mah hanz todai, but i wud not lay hand on teh lordz anointd.24 as surely as i valud ur life todai, so cud teh lord value mah life an delivr me frum all trouble."25 den saul sed 2 david, "cud u be blesd, mah son david; u will do great things an surely triumf." So david went on his wai, an saul returnd home.
- a - 1 samuel 26:4 or had come 2 nacon
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