1 Samuel 22
From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Ambling 'Round Adullam, and Chillin' in Mizpah
1 david left gath an escapd 2 teh cave ov adullam. When his brothers an his fathers haushold herd bout it, they went down 2 him thar.2 all dose hoo wuz in distres or in debt or discontentd gatherd around him, an he became their leadr. Bout 4 hundrd doodz wuz wif him.3 frum thar david went 2 mizpah in moab an sed 2 teh king ov moab, "wud u let mah fathr an mommy come an stay wif u til i lern wut ceilin cat will do 4 me?"4 so he left them wif teh king ov moab, an they stayd wif him as long as david wuz in da stronghold.5 but teh profet gad sed 2 david, "do not stay in da stronghold. Go into teh land ov judah." so david left an went 2 teh forest ov hereth.
Saul PWNS Teh Preests of Nob
6 nao saul herd dat david an his doodz had been discoverd. An saul, spear in hand, wuz seatd undr teh tamarisk tree on teh hill at gibeah, wif all his officials standin around him.7 saul sed 2 them, "listen, doodz ov benjamin! Will teh son ov jese giv all ov u fieldz an vineyardz? Will he mak all ov u commanders ov thousandz an commanders ov hundredz?8 iz dat y u has all conspird against me? No wan tells me when mah son makez covenant wif teh son ov jese. None ov u iz concernd bout me or tells me dat mah son has incitd mah servant 2 lie in wait 4 me, as he doez todai."
9 but doeg teh edomite, hoo wuz standin wif sauls officials, sed, "i saw teh son ov jese come 2 ahimelech son ov ahitub at nob.10 ahimelech inquird ov teh lord 4 him; he also gaev him provishuns an teh sword ov goliath teh filistine."
11 den teh king sent 4 da priest ahimelech son ov ahitub an his fathers whole pplz, hoo wuz teh priests at nob, an they all came 2 teh king.12 saul sed, "listen nao, son ov ahitub." "yez, mah lord," he anzwerd.13 saul sed 2 him, "y has u conspird against me, u an teh son ov jese, givin him bread an sword an inquirin ov ceilin cat 4 him, so dat he has rebelld against me an liez in wait 4 me, as he doez todai?"
14 ahimelech anzwerd teh king, "hoo ov all ur servants iz as loyal as david, teh kings son-in-law, captain ov ur bodyguard an highly respectd in ur haushold?15 wuz dat dai teh furst tiem i inquird ov ceilin cat 4 him? Ov course not! Let not teh king accuse ur servant or any ov his fathers pplz, 4 ur servant knows nothin at all bout dis whole affair."
16 but teh king sed, "u will surely dye, ahimelech, u an ur fathers whole pplz."17 den teh king orderd teh guardz at his side: "turn an kill teh priests ov teh lord, cuz they 2 has sidd wif david. They knew he wuz fleein, yet they did not tell me." But teh kings officials wuz not willin 2 raize hand 2 strike teh priests ov teh lord.18 teh king den orderd doeg, "u turn an strike down teh priests." so doeg teh edomite turnd an struck them down. Dat dai he killd eighty-5 doodz hoo wore teh linen efod.19 he also put 2 teh sword nob, teh town ov teh priests, wif itz doodz an women, itz children an infants, an itz kattle, donkeys an sheep.20 but abiathar, son ov ahimelech son ov ahitub, escapd an fld 2 join david.21 he told david dat saul had killd teh priests ov teh lord.
22 den david sed 2 abiathar: "dat dai, when doeg teh edomite wuz thar, i knew he wud be sure 2 tell saul. Im responsible 4 da death ov ur fathers whole pplz.23 stay wif me; doan be afraid; teh man hoo iz seekin ur life iz seekin mine also. U will be safe wif me."
|“1 Samuel 22”|
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