1 Samuel 19

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Old Testament
Saul Almost PWNS David.... Almost

1 saul told his son jonathan an all teh attendants 2 kill david. But jonathan wuz vry fond ov david2 an warnd him, "mah fathr saul iz lookin 4 chance 2 kill u. Be on ur guard 2morrow mornin; go into hidin an stay thar.3 im gonna go out an stand wif mah fathr in da field wer u r. Ill speek 2 him bout u an will tell u wut i find out."4 jonathan spoke well ov david 2 saul his fathr an sed 2 him, "let not teh king do wrong 2 his servant david; he has not wrongd u, an wut he has dun has benefitd u greatly.5 he took his life in his hanz when he killd teh filistine. Teh lord won great victory 4 all israel, an u saw it an wuz glad. Y den wud u do wrong 2 an innosent man liek david by killin him 4 no reason?"6 saul listend 2 jonathan an took dis oath: "as surely as teh lord livez, david will not be put 2 death."7 so jonathan calld david an told him teh whole conversashun. He brought him 2 saul, an david wuz wif saul as before.

8 once moar war broke out, an david went out an fought teh filistinez. He struck them wif such force dat they fld before him.9 but an evil [a] spirit frum teh lord came upon saul as he wuz sittin in his houz wif his spear in his hand. While david wuz playin teh harp,10 saul trid 2 pin him 2 teh wall wif his spear, but david eludd him as saul droov teh spear into teh wall. Dat nite david made gud his escape.11 saul sent doodz 2 davidz houz 2 watch it an 2 kill him in da mornin. But michal, davidz wife, warnd him, "if u doan run 4 ur life tonite, 2morrow ull be killd."12 so michal let david down thru window, an he fld an escapd.13 den michal took an idol [b] an laid it on teh bed, coverin it wif garment an puttin sum goats hair at teh head.

14 when saul sent teh doodz 2 capchur david, michal sed, "he iz ill."15 den saul sent teh doodz bak 2 c david an told them, "brin him up 2 me in his bed so dat i cud kill him."16 but when teh doodz enterd, thar wuz teh idol in da bed, an at teh head wuz sum goats hair.17 saul sed 2 michal, "y u deceiv me liek dis an send mah enemy away so dat he escapd?" Michal told him, "he sed 2 me, let me git away. Y shud i kill u? "18 when david had fld an made his escape, he went 2 samuel at ramah an told him all dat saul had dun 2 him. Den he an samuel went 2 naioth an stayd thar.

19 werd came 2 saul: "david iz in naioth at ramah";20 so he sent doodz 2 capchur him. But when they saw group ov profets profesyin, wif samuel standin thar as their leadr, teh spirit ov ceilin cat came upon sauls doodz an they also profesid.21 saul wuz told bout it, an he sent moar doodz, an they profesid 2. Saul sent doodz third tiem, an they also profesid.22 finally, he him left 4 ramah an went 2 teh great cistern at secu. An he askd, "wer r samuel an david?" "ovar in naioth at ramah," they sed.23 so saul went 2 naioth at ramah. But teh spirit ov ceilin cat came even upon him, an he walkd along profesyin til he came 2 naioth.24 he strippd off his robez an also profesid in samuels presence. He lay dat wai all dat dai an nite. Dis ar teh y peeps say, "iz saul also among teh profets?"

Teh Footnotez
  • a - 1 samuel 19:9 or injurious
  • b - 1 samuel 19:13 hebrew terafim ; also in verse 16
1 Samuel 19
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