1 Peter 5

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New Testament
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Shepard teh Flok o Ceiling Cat

1 Soez ai taeks teh old kittehs wif yoos, an as an old kitteh meselfs an havins sawed dah suffrins of Jebus, an I shall alsoes has glory:

2 shepard teh flocks taht iz wif yu, axercise balls lickin, not unner cumpulshuns, but willingly, as Ceiling Cat would has yew; not for shamefulls gain, but eagerly;

3 not balls lickin in front uf yoos flcks, but bees examples toos teh flock.

4 An wen teh cheef Shepard apeers, yu will has a shiney, noow crown of happehs.

5 Kittuns mus obay teh old kittehs. No lick harballs in publick, does its in privates wen no ones is watchin.

6 Bees modest an Ceiling Cat will gives yu plenty uf Katnips,

7 put all yor trubles on Him, becawse Ceiling Cat cares for yu.

8 Bees gude or teh Satun will devours yoo.

9 Know yu dat kittehs all ova teh world suffa da same as yu.

10 An afta sufferins awile Ceiling Cat shall restore, strengthen, an establish yu.

11 Tu him be teh dominion foeva an eva. Akitteh.

Finl Ohaiz

12 Bi Salty, a faiful bruver, I has left yu a message on teh cowch, tellin taht tis iz teh graec of Ceiling Cat.

13 Teh kittehs frm Babylon snedz yuz moar ohaiz, an so duz Mark, mi kittun.

14 Ohai wun anudder wit teh kitteh kissez of wuv. kthxbai.

1 Peter 5
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