1 Peter 2

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New Testament

1 So, by stopping being basement n00b2 weir leik tiny kittns, hngry for chzburgrs, that can grow3 if we knoes that Ceiling Cat is win.

4 Come to Jeebus, tho doodz sez yu fail, cuz Ceiling Cat thinks ur special5 and makes yuo win so u can gives Ceiling Cat cool stuff thru Jeebus.6 It saiz “look, i’m in ur base And I pwn And he who leiks Ceiling Cat wins”

7 To yu who leik Ceiling Cat, u haff eers, but forz yu who haff no eers and can’t hear him “you fail8 and are teh sux.”

9 But Ceiling Cat leiks u lots, so you cans tell him "you pwn", cuas he meows for yu from teh basement to da ceiling,10 and u can has cookies.

11 Don’t be liek "its my haus, i can has basement catnip", that make u has haerballz12 but b good, so d00dz who flaem u will say Ceiling Cat equals win.

13 So for Jeebus sake, obey roolz14 even if teh mods awr bad15 cuz this Ceiling Cat does want, dat yu pwn trolls,16 cuz youer teh paws of Ceiling Cat.17 Has hugs teim wit every1 and listen to Ceiling Cat.

18 Listen to ppl who are less n00b than u19 cuz this is good, if sum1 steals ur bukkit and u r sad but don’t hurt the one who took ur bukkit.20 If u sux an kittehs claws u, iz dat win? If u makes cookies n get pwned, but be nice, Ceiling Cat appoofs of this.21 U do this cuz Jeebus did it.22 He never goed "I made you a cookie but I eated it."23 and Jeebus was always nice to teh ppls.24 And we can have cheezburgurz and were healed by teh powr of Jeebus.25 We were n00bs, but Jeebus takes teh n00b awai.

1 Peter 2
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