1 Kings 7

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Old Testament
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Teh King Solomon Buildeh Teh Lebanese Forest HOWSE!!! OMG~~!

1 So, iff anybodeh akshully readed teh last chapter, teh howse he bilt waz liek, OMGWTFBBQ! TIS FINISHEZ!

2 Den Solomin waz liek, LOLZ, letz maek anutter howse, srlsy! Dis tiem in lebanon an stuffs!3 An dere waz liek teh mohst l33t ruuf omg!4 An winndowz an stuffs!5 An doorz wit FOR SIDEZ! ZOMGLOLROFLOMGROFLCOPTER!!!! Srsly.

6 An den Solomin maed dis awsumm hawwl wit pillerz, an maed a porch an stuff! WOOTZ!

7 An den Solomin waz liek Not enuf hawwlz, srsly. An he maed mor hawwlz, wit a throwne dis tiem!

8 An den Solomin maed a howse for himmsellves, an also won for hiz hawt wife! Srsly.

9 An Solomin waz liek: OMG! It wood be awesomez if ai maed mai teh whole howse out of expnsive stonse Z0MG! Srsly.10 An so he maed teh whole botem of teh howse of those expnsive stonse.11 An der wer stonse EVERWERE! Srsly.12 An he also maed dis leet court out of dose expnsive stonse.

Cowtcheez fur ze Tehmpuhl

13 An den Solomin waz liek: Hiram, want teh come oveh an maek bronz stuffz?14 An Hiram waz liek: Awesomez! Yah, ai comin oveh rite now!

15 An Hiram maeks two pilarz, and dey were tallz. Srsly, dey were very tallz.16 An he also maed stufz teh put on top of teh pilarz.17 An teh stuff lookeh liek dey were teh best in teh world!18 An den he maed mor stufz! Srsly, yah deat's wut he did.19 An dey were tallz also! ZOMG.20 an he also waz liek: Pomegranitez iz liek chezburger, yummeh, lez maek lotz of dem. An so he did.21 An den Hiram sayz dat he iz manin teh pilarz. An he was finaly don! Yarly.

23 An den he went an maed dis bathtub thing, an it waz bigz srsly lawge.24 Srsly, it waz rly bigz, and leet.25 An Hiram waz liek: Awsomez, letz put teh bathtub top of oxez! LOL.26 Teh bathtub waz thick too, an it waz bigz. Srsly.

27 An Hiram made deze stahnd things, an dey were bigz.28 Srsly, dey also had bordrs to! ZOMG!29 An Hiram waz liek: LOLZ, letz put oxez an lionz an other stufz aroun teh bordr! An it waz awsums.30 TAn all teh standz had circl weelz to. Dey wer also made out ov bronze, WTF!31 An teh stahnd things had opningz, WTF? Srsly.32 Teh wheelz, dere wer fore of dem! An dey wer under teh bordrz. Srsly.33 Teh wheelz wer rly leet. Ya rly.34 An teh stahndz had suppotrs!35 An at teh topp of teh stahndz wer round bandz.36 An der wer weird stufz on teh surfaze, WTF Hiram, WTF.37 Yah, an Hiram made ten of dem. OMG, y ten? Ya need ten? LOLZ.

38 Huram awsoh maed ten tinee bwonz bowls, wun fur eech kart. Eech bowl wuz six pawz akwoz an cud hod 55 milk jugz uv watur.39 He puht five watur kartz awn ze sauth wahl uv ze Tehmpuhl an five awn ze north wahl. Ze gwate bwonz bowl nahmd ze C wuz put bie ze sautheest wahlz uv ze Tehmpuhl.40 He awso maed ze needid washbowlz, shovelz, and bowlz. So finahly Huram finishd evuryting Burgre King Solomon had tohld himz too maek for ze Tehmpuhl uv Cieling Cat:

41 ze two cohlumz; ze two bowl-liek capitohlz awn tawp uv ze cohlumz; ze two nehtwurkz uv chanelink tat decoratdz ze capitohlz;42 ze 400 pomigranatz tat hung frum ze chanz on ze capitohlz (two rohwz uv pomigranatz fur eech uv ze chane nehtwurkz tat decoratdz ze capitohlz on top uv ze cohlumz);43 ze ten watur kartz hoding ze ten bowlz;44 ze C an ze twelv cawz undur eet;45 ze ash buketz, ze shovelz, an ze bowlz. Huram maed aww dez tingz uv burnishd bwonz fur ze Tehmpuhl uv Cieling Cat, jus as Burgur King Solomon had saed.

46 Ze king ad dem kast een klai mowdz een ze Jordan Valley betwen Succoth an Zarethan.47 Solomon dihd nawt way aww dez tingz bekawze dere waz so many; ze wayt uv ze bwonz culd not bee mesurd.

48 Solomon also maed aww ze furnishingz uv ze Tehmpuhl uv Cieling Cat: ze gowden altur; ze gowden taybuhl fur ze Bread uv ze Presence uv Cieling Cat;49 ze lahmpstandz uv solihd gowd, five on ze sauth and five on ze north, een frunt uv ze Most Holy Place; ze flouerz decorationz, lahmpz, an tongz—aww uv gowd;50 ze smahl bowlz, lahmp snufferz, bowlz, dishz, an insentz burnurz—aww uv solid gowd;

51 So Burgur King Solomon wuz dun aww uv his wurk on ze Tehmpuhl uv Cieling Cat. Zen he brot aww ze giftz his daddycat, David, had dehdicatdz—ze sihlvur, ze gowd, an ze various artiklz—an he stord dem een ze tresuriz uv Cieling Cat's Tehmpuhl. ze doorz fur ze entwancz to ze Most Holy Place an ze mane woom uv ze Tehmpuhl, wit zair fwontz overlade wit gowd.

1 Kings 7
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