1 Corinthians 7
From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 So enniwai gettin to why u writed me. Iz good if u doant getz married.2 But thatz not veri likeli iz it. So evri man should getz wief, an evri womn should getz husbnd.3 N HARBLEZ GOES WHERE? Dat is good.4 Teh wief's bodi iznt just herz, itz her husbandz too. Saem for teh husband. I meenz teh husbandz bodi belongz to him n also 2 hiz wief.5 Don't stop puttin teh harblez unless u both agree about it. Liek u stop for a whiel n prai. But doant stop for too long or Basement Cat will try an maek trublz.6 Dis is just me talkin.7 U should all be harble-free liek me. But not evribodi can duz dat.8 If u iz not married or ur husbnd or wief diez, u could stai singul liek me.9 Unless u would be horni. In dat caes u should get married.
10 A wief cant leev her husbnd. Dat's not me talkin, dat's Ceiling Cat.11 If she duz tho, she cant marriez no wun els. She can maek up wif her husbnd or stai aloan. N teh saem goez for d00dz.12 Now dis part is me talkin, not Ceiling Cat. If u beleev in Ceiling Cat but ur wief duzint, u cant divorse her ovr it.13 Saem goez for teh ladiez.14 Teh wun who duzint beleev iz maded clean thru teh wun who duz beleev. Dat goez for teh kidz too.15 If teh wun who duzint beleev leevez tho, let dem go. Ceiling Cat sez doant fiet about it.16 U haz no wai to know about ur husbnd or wief gettin saivded.
17 Enniwai, Ceiling Cat giveded u a plase in lief n u should stai dere.18 Leev ur man-harblez teh wai dey iz.19 U thinkz about man-harblez too much. Do what Ceiling Cat wantz, datz teh importnt thing.20 Liek I sez, stai put.21 If u iz a slaev, doant worri about it. Get free if u can but doant worri about it.22 U can be a slaev an be Ceiling Cat's free man. Jus liek u can be a free man an be Ceiling Cat's slaev.33 Ceiling Cat boughted u. Doant let humanz bought u too.34 Liek I keepz sayin, stai put.
35 Letz talk about virginz now.36 U should stai virginz.37 If u iz married, stai dat wai. But if u izint doant be all "SWM seeks LTR" jus stai singul.38 Itz OK to marri. Itz jus trubble.39 Bcz Ceiling Cat is comin soon.40 So doant maek ani big planz.41 Teh whoal world iz goin awai.42 Doant worri about it.43 But if u iz married u wil be all "OMG teh world iz endin!"44 Ladiez n d00dz both.45 Dis iz for ur own good.46 If u jus haz to getz married, go ahed.47 But try to stai singul if u can.48 Eithr wai iz OK.49 If a womn's husbnd diez, she can get married agen, but her huzbnd should liek Ceiling Cat.50 But I thinkz she wil be hapiur if she staiz singul.
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