1 Corinthians 3

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New Testament
WTF? Divisions in teh Ceiling Cat Clubz!!!11!!1!!

1 Brothers, u iz just newbornded kittenz in Christ.2 I gave you milk, not cookies, bcz u wuz not reddi for cookies. U iz still not reddi!3 Bcz u iz not spirichl enuff. U iz all fightin n jelous. U iz actin liek humanz!4 When one d00d sez "I follaz Paul," n some othr d00d sez "I follaz Apollos," u is just humanz!

5 What iz Apollos enniwai? N Paul? Jus servantz workin for Ceiling Cat to maek u believ.6 I putted teh seed in teh ground, Apollos putted teh watr on it, but Ceiling Cat maded it grow.7 Teh d00d dat duz teh plantin iz nuffing. Saem wif teh d00d dat putz teh waterz. Only Ceiling Cat is moar dan nuffing, bcz he makez teh thingz gro.8 Teh plant n water d00dz iz duin teh riet thing though, n both getz cheezburgr!9 We workz wif Ceiling Cat. U iz his field n hiz bilding.

10 Ceiling Cat gived me grace. I builded a good foundashn n sum othr d00d iz on mai foundashn, buildin Ceiling Cat's building. Build cairfly evribodi!11 Bcz Jesus iz teh onli good foundashn.12 If u buildz wif gold or silvr or expensiff stuffz or wood or hai or straw (liek teh three pigz)13 it wil get burnded up wif fier!14 But if it duzint u will get cheezburgr.15 If it getz burnded u lose. U will get saved but not teh house.

16 U iz Ceiling Cat's tempul. Ceiling Cat's spirit iz in u, givin u cheezburgr.17 If ennibodi nox down Ceiling Cat's tempul, Ceiling Cat will nok him down. Dat shud maek u feel betterz.

18 Dont get trix0red LOL. If u thinkz u is smart it is bettr to become stupid n get smartr from dere.19 Liek I sed befor, teh wisdm of teh wurld is dum to Ceiling Cat. Sum d00d rited "He catchiz teh wise in their clevrness";20 oh yeah n "Ceiling Cat knows dat teh thotz of teh wise iz good for nuffing."21 So quit braggin about d00dz! Evrithing is urz,22 Paul or Apollos or Rocky or teh world or lief or deth or now or latr - evrithing,23 n u iz Christ n Christ is Ceiling Cat's.

1 Corinthians 3
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