1 Corinthians 10

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New Testament

Warningz from Israel's Histri

1 Teh peeplz dat caem befor us wuz all in teh saem boat. Dat is a metafor, dey wuz not realli in a boat.2 Dey had a baff in Moses naem.3 Dey eated teh saem cookies. Dat is a metafor too k.4 An drinkted teh saem milk from teh saem rock. Dat rock wuz Christ. More metaforz k?5 Ceiling Cat still wuzint happi and lotz of dem died in teh desrt. Dat iz not a metafor, dat realli happnd.

6 Dis wuz to teech us a lesson.7 Doant worshp idolz. Ceiling Cat DO NOT WANT!8 Doant make teh bad harblez. Ceiling Cat DO NOT WANT! 23000 of dem died in wun dai bcz of dis!9 Doant test Ceiling Cat, who DO NOT WANT an will sendz snaeks.10 Doant complaen. Ceiling Cat DO NOT WANT an will send teh hovr d00d to kil u.

11 So doant do dat.12 Be xtra caerflz k.13 Ceiling Cat woant let u be moare tempted dan u can stanz.

Idol Cookies vs. Ceiling Cat's suppr

14 Sun runz awai from teh idolz.15 U haz enuff sens to lisnz.16 Teh cup we givz thankz for, dat meanz we takez part in teh blood of Christ. An teh cookiez we sharez, dat meanz we takez part in teh bodi of Christ.17 Jus liek dere iz jus wun cookie, we is juz wun church.

18 Taek Israel for exampl. Evribodi who eatz teh sacrafieces goez up to teh altar, riet?19 Duz I meanz dat idolz an sacrifiesez meanz sumthin?20 No! I jus doan want u taekin part in sacrifiesez to demunz.21 U haz to chuse betwin Ceiling Cat an teh demunz.22 Iz we trin to make Ceiling Cat jelus? He is strongr dan us LOL.

Teh Beleevrz Freedm

23 Evrithin iz allowd - but not evrithin is good for u. Evrithin is allowd - but not evrithin is usefl.24 U shouldnt trai to get what iz good for u, just what iz good for othrz.25 U can eat evrithin at teh butchrz, no problim.

26 bcz "Teh wurld bilongz to Ceilin Cat. O yeah n so duz evrithin in it."27 If sumwun who duznt beleev offerz u cookies, u shud eat dem wifout bitchin. Iz OK.

28 But if dey iz liek "Dis wuz givn to teh idolz," doant eat it. Dat iz best for evribodi.29 U shudnt juj me bai hiz beleefs.30 I iz jus eatin mai cookies n bein graetful, nuffin rong wif dat.31 If u eat or drink or whatevr, do it for teh glori of Ceiling Cat.

32 Doant maek eniwun maek mistaekz.33 I trai to maek evriwun happi so dey wil be saevd.

1 Corinthians 10
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