1 Chronicles 7
From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 a dood naemd Issachar had four boy kitties: Tola, Puah, Jashub an Shimron. 2 Tola wus da daddy of Uzzi, Rephaiah Jeriel, Jahmai, Ibsam + Shemuel, hu all wuz brave fightin menz and fambly leaders in der Clan. Dere wus 22,600 people in Tola's families by the time of David being seed. 3 Uzzi was the daddy of Izrahiah an the Grand-daddy of Michael, Obadiah, Joel, an Isshiah, who wus also fambly leaders4 dere famblys wuz so big dey had to have 36000 soldiers n da clanz.5 srsly, Issachar had 87000 soldiers!
6 another dood named Benjamin had three boy kitties: Bela, no not the one from Twilight, Jediael, like lightsaber boy, n' Becher.7 teh boy kitties uv Bela: Ezbon, Uzzi, Uzziel, Jerimoth an Iri, heads of famblys — five in all. Dey had 22,034 fighting menz.8 the boy kitties uv Beker: Zemirah, Joash, Eliezer, Elioenai, Omri, Jeremoth, Abijah, Anathoth an Alemeth. All dese were the boy kitties of Beker, in case u be forgettin.9 Dey had 20,200 fighting menz.10 teh boy kitties of Jediael: jus Bilhan. teh boy kitties of Bilhan: Jeush, Benjamin, Ehud, Kenaanah, Zethan, Tarshish and Ahishahar.11 All dese boy kitties uv Jediael wuz heads of famblys. dere were 17,200 fighting menz all packed 'n reddy to be goin to war.12 The Shuppites an Huppites wuz teh childrens uv Ir, an the Hushites wuz teh childrens uv Aher.
13 teh boy kitties uv Naphtali: Jahziel, Guni, Jezer and Shillem —teh childrens uv Bilhah.
14 Teh childrens uv Manasseh: Asriel wuz his children fru his Aramean concubine. She gives birfs to Makir teh daddy uv Gilead. verze15 Makir took a wife from teh Huppites an Shuppites. His sister's name wuz Maacah. Another childrens wus named Zelophehad (srsly), hu had only girl kitties hu wasnt important.16 Makir's wife Maacah gives birfs to a boy kittie an naemd him Peresh. His bruvver wus naemd Sheresh, an his boy kitties were Ulam an Rakem.17 The son of Ulam: jus Bedan. Dese whur teh boy kitties uv Gilead boy kittie uv Makir, teh boy kitteh uv Manasseh.18 His sister Hammoleketh gives birfs to Ishhod, Abiezer an Mahlah.19 Teh boy kitties uv Shemida wuz: Ahian, Shechem, Likhi an Aniam.
20 Teh childrens uv Ephraim: Shuthelah, Bered his boy kittie, Tahath his boy kittie, Eleadah his boy kittie, Tahath his boy kittie,21 Zabad his boy kittie an Shuthelah his boy kittie. Ezer an Elead wuz timed out by teh native-born men of Gath, when dey went to take dere cheezburgerz.22 Dere daddy Ephraim had a sad for dem many days, an his famblys came to give him lols.23 Den he had secks wif his wife again, and she got a boy kittie from da stork. He named him Beriah, cuz dere was bad jujumagumbo in his fambly.24 His gurl kitteh wuz Sheerah, hu maed Lower and Upper Beth Horon as well as Uzzen Sheerah.25 Rephah wuz his boy kittie, Resheph his boy kittie, Telah his boy kittie, Tahan his boy kittie,26 Ladan his boy kittie, Ammihud his boy kittie, Elishama his boy kittie,27 Nun his boy kittie and Joshua his boy kittie. Phew, dats lots uv boy kitties!28 Dere lands an scratching posts included Bethel an close by places, Naaran to teh east, Gezer an close by places to teh west, an Shechem and close by places all the way to Ayyah an close by places.29 On teh edges uv Manasseh wuz Beth Shan, Taanach, Megiddo an Dor, togevver wif dere close by places. The childrens uv Joseph boy kittie uv Israel lived in dese towns.
30 Teh boy kitties uv Asher: Imnah, Ishvah, Ishvi an Beriah. Dere gurl litter mate wuz Serah.31 Teh boy kitties uv Beriah: Heber an Malkiel, hu wuz teh daddy uv Birzaith.32 Heber wuz teh daddy uv Japhlet, Shomer an Hotham an uv dere gurl litter mate Shua.33 Teh boy kitties uv Japhlet: Pasach, Bimhal and Ashvath. N case u b forgettin, dese r Japhlet's boy kitties.34 Teh boy kitties uv Shomer: Ahi, Rohgah, Hubbah an Aram.35 Teh boy kitties uv his bruvver Helem: Zophah, Imna, Shelesh an Amal.36 The boy kitties uv Zophah: Suah, Harnepher, Shual, Beri, Imrah,37 Bezer, Hod, Shamma, Shilshah, Ithran an Beera. Zophah wuz one bizzy hooman!38 Teh boy kitties uv Jether: Jephunneh, Pispah an Ara.39 Teh boy kitties uv Ulla: Arah, Hanniel and Rizia.40 All dese were childrens uv Asher—heads of famblys, choice men, brave warriors an outstanding leaders. Dey had 26,000 menz all reddy for battle
|“1 Chronicles 7”|
|← Previous||Next →||← Previous||Next →|
|2 Kings||2 Chronicles||1 Chronicles 6||1 Chronicles 8|