1 Chronicles 4

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Old Testament

1 Judah can haz kittens, an his kittens wuz Pharez, Hezron, an Carmi, an Hur, an Shobal.2 An Reaiah, teh kitteh who Shobal begat (which iz fancy hooman word for when u haz kittens), he had kitteh and he name him Jahath; an Jahath begat Ahumai, an also Lahad. Dese is teh kittehs of teh Zorathites. 3 An dese other kittehs were kittehs uv Etam: Jezreel, an Ishma, an Idbash: and teh name of dere sis wuz Hazelelponi; 4 An Penuel who wuz dad uv Gedor, an Ezer who wuz dad ov Hushah. Dese iz teh kittehs uv Hur, the furst-borned of Ephratah, who wuz teh dad of Bethlehem (not teh citie). Template:Verse 5 6 An Naarah bore him (dis means same as "begat," it not mean she wuz boring) Ahuzam, an Hepher, an Temeni, an Haahashtari. Dese wuz teh kittehs of Naarah. 7 And teh kittehs uv Helah wuz Zereth, an Jezoar, an Ethnan. 8 An Coz begat Anub, an Zobebah, and teh kittehs uv Aharhel, who wuz teh kitten of Harum. 9 But Jabez wuz more better den his bruvr an his momcat sayed his name wuz Jabez, cuz she sayed she borned him with sad. 10 An Jabez says to Ceiling Cat, “I can haz Cheezburgrz? An moar land? An yor paw wid me, so I get noes pain or pwnage? Srsly?” And Ceiling Cat say, "Srsly."

11 Moer kittehs from other kitteh,33 and some of these kittehs was smart like cause tehy keep noets of which penis went where.

34 MOER KITTEH WITH BIG NAMES39 An tehy goes for a jurny for fud.40 An they find fuds, were it is ALL QUIET. An Ham ownz teh fud, Ham is a fud ownr nots fud his self.41 An wen Hezekiah, rulez kitteh of Judah was there, Ham pwnd othr kittehs sofas an stuff and found fuds.42 An many kittehs pwnd othr kitteh on a really big hill43 An tehn tehse kittehs was in your place eating your fud.


1 Chronicles 4
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