1 Chronicles 3

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1 David can haz kittehs in Hebron! His kittehs iz Amnon, of Ahinoam teh Jezreelitess; Daniel of Abigail teh Carmelitess:2 Absalom teh kitteh of Maachah teh gurl kitteh of Talmai rulercat of Geshur: Adonijah teh kitteh of Haggith:3 Shephatiah of Abital: Ithream by Eglah his wifekitteh.4 So he hasded six kittehs in Hebron where all the kittehs licked his feetz for sevn yurs and six monts: an in Jerusalem kittehs licked his feetz thurty three yurs.5 OMGZ he hasded mor kittehs in Jerusalem!!!!; Shimea, Shobab, Nathan, an Solomon, Bath-shua teh gurl kitteh of Ammiel:6 An Ibhar, Elishama, Eliphelet,7 Nogah, Nepheg, Japhia,8 Elishama, Eliada, an Eliphelet LOL!9 An he had moar from PENIS GOES WHERE?! cats an he had a gurl kitteh Tamar!


10 An Solomonses kitteh wuz Rehoboam, Abia hiz kitteh, Asa hiz kitteh, Jehoshaphat hiz kitteh,11 Joram hiz kitteh, Ahaziah hiz kitteh, Joash hiz kitteh,12 Amaziah hiz kitteh, Azariah hiz kitteh Jotham hiz kitteh,13 Ahaz hiz kitteh, Hezekiah hiz kitteh, Manasseh hiz kitteh,14 Amon hiz kitteh, Josiah hiz kitteh.15 An Josiah had for kittehs! Johanan, Jehoiakim, Zedekiah, an Shallum! LOL16 An Jehoiakimses kittehs wur Jeconiah an Zedekiah hiz kitteh.


17 Jeconiahses kittehs; Assir, Salathiel hiz kitteh,18 Malchiram, Pedaiah, Shenazar, Jecamiah, Hoshama, an Nedabiah.19 An Pedaiah hasded kittehs! ROFL! Zerubbabel, an Shimei! an teh kittehz of Zerubbabel; Meshullam, an Hananiah, an Shelomith teh gurl kitteh:20 An Hashubah, Ohel, Berechiah, Hasadiah, an Jushab-hesed! Fiv kittehs!21 An teh kittehs Hananiah; Pelatiah, an Jesaiah: teh kittehs of Rephaiah, teh kittehs of Arnan, teh kittehs of Obadiah, teh kittehs of Shechaniah.22 An teh kittehs of Shechaniah; Shemaiah: an teh kittehs of Shemaiah: Hattush, Igeal, Bariah, Neariah, an Shaphat!23 An teh kittehs of Neariah; Elioenai, Hezekiah, an Azrikam.24 An teh kittehs of Elioenai wuz Hodaiah, Eliashib, Pelaiah, Akkub, Johanan, Dalaiah, an Anani! Sevn kittehz LOL!!1

1 Chronicles 3
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