1 Chronicles 25

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Old Testament
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Teh Devisn of De Priestez, de Muzik Kittehs

1 K, so King David n offizers of teh army choez teh follwn kitteh families: teh sons of Asaph, and of Heman, n Jeduthun; dey was all to bring de messages of Celing Cat wif teh liars, harpses and teh simblz. Dis be da list of kittehz choezn to do all da work, wid teh ting dat each of dem dun, srsly:2 Teh sonz of Asaph: Zaccur, Joseph, Nethaniah, n Asharelah. Teh sons of Asaph, dey were direktd bai Asaph, hoo bringed de messages of Ceilin Catz wenevr teh King sayd so.3 Of Jeduthun, teh sonz of Jeduthun six: Gedaliah, Zeri, Jeshaiah, Shimei, Hashabiah, n Mattithiah. Dey wre direktd by der fathr Jeduthun, hoo told teh mesagez of Ceilin Cat wif da musik of de liar.4 N teh sonz of Heman: Bukkiah, Mattaniah, Uzziel, Shebuel, n Jerimoth, Hananiah, Hanani, Eliathah, Giddalti, n Romamti-Ezer, Joshbekashah, Mallothi, Hothir, Mahazioth.5 All dem wuz teh sonz of Heman, teh Kingz seer, akordin to teh promis of Ceilin Cat to xalt Heman, for Ceilin Catz has gived him fortn sonz n three dotterz. Srsly.6 All dem wre direktd by dey fathrz fur teh musikz in teh house of Ceilin Cat, and dey hadz simbals, harpz n liarz fur the kittehs of teh house of Ceilin Catz. Asaph, Jeduthun, n Heman were undr teh orderz uv teh King.7 Dem n der folkz, hoo all had sum seris skils n singin fur Ceilin Cat, all of dem were mad wif skillz n dey wuz 288 of dem.8 N tehy cast de lotz fer der dooties, little kittehs n big kittehs, teechrs n stoodnets, all beez de same for the chorze assignment.9 Teh fisrt lot fell to Asaph, fer Joseph; teh seconz wre to Gedaliah and all him sonz and reltives twelv.10 teh fird went to Zaccur, n him sonz and relitives, dere were twelf ov dem.11 Fowrth lot was to Izri, n him sonz n reltives, dere were twelf ov dem too.12 Fidth wuz to Nethaniah, n him sonz n reltives, tewlf ov dem too.13 Sixth wre Bukkiah, n him sonz n reltives, again with the twelf ov dem, becuz Ceilin Cat likes teh number twelf, srsly.14 Sevnth wre Jesarelah, n him sonz n reltives, u guessd it, dere were twelf of dem also.15 Ateth wuz Jeshaiah, n him sonz n reltives, anudder twelf of dem.16 Ninth wuz Mattaniah, n him sonz n reltives, yet anuder twelf of dem.17 Tneth wre Shimei, n him sonz n reltives, o to Ceilin Cat, dere were twelf of dem.18 Eelvth wre Azarel, n him sonz n reltives, also twelf of dem.19 Twelfth wre Hashabiah, n him sonz n reltives, yah, twelf of dem too.20 Tweeteenth wuz Shubael, n him sonz n reltives, u guess it, twelf of dem.21 Fowrteenth wre Mattithiah, n him sonz n reltives, also, u knowd it, twelf of dem, srsly.22 Fidteeth wre Jerimoth, n him sonz n reltives, again twelf ov dem.23 To de sixteeth, Hannaniah, n him sonz n reltives, again dere be twelf.24 Teh Senventeeth, Joshbekashah, n him sonz n reltives, whad you kno, dem be twelf too.25 To de ateteenf, Hanani, n him sonz n reltives, again dere be twelf, srsly.26 To de nineteenf, Mallothi, n him sonz n relitives, once mor dere be twelf of dem.27 To de twentief, Eliathah, n him sonz n relitives, dere were twelf.28 To de twenty-furst, Hothir, n him sonz n relitives, again twelf.29 De twenty-sekond, Giddalti, n him sonz n relitives also twelf.30 To de twenty-fird,Mahazioth n him sonz n relitives, twelf.31 To de twenty-ford, Romamti-ezer, n him sonz n relitives, again dere be twelf of dem, srsly.

1 Chronicles 25
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