1 Chronicles 2

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Old Testament
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Teh kittehs ub Israel

1 Dese be te kittehs ov Israel; Reubnez, Simenoz, Leviz Jeanz, n Judhaz, Issachraz, n Zebulunz2 Danz, Josephes, n Benjaminz, Naphtaliahz, Gnadz, n Usherz

Lotz moar kittehs

3 Teh kittehs of Judhaz; Erz, n Onanz, , Shelhaz: thoz tree wuz fum teh kitteh of Shuaz teh Canaanitezzz. An Erz, teh fust-kitteh of Judhaz, wuz EBIL in teh c-ing of teh all-cing Ceiling Cat, an he sniped himz.4 Tamarz hims kitteh-in-law bornz himz Pharze n Zerhazz. All teh kittehs of Judhaz were five and pwetty leetz.

5 Teh kittehs uf Pharzez; Hezronzz, and Hamulz.

6 Teh kittehs of Zerah; Zimriz, Ethannz, Hemanz, Calcoolz and Dardaz. Dey wuz five kittehs! Lolz.

7 Teh kitteh ob Catmiz; Achar, who waz in ur temples, stealin ur devoted thingz.

8 Teh kitteh uv Ethannz; Azariahhhhhhhh!

9 Teh kittehs Hezronzz wuz Jerahmeelz, Ram n Calebz.

Eben moar kittehs! Srsly!

10 Ram has beens teh fathah of Amminadabz, and Amminadabz the fathah ov Nahshonz, whoo bez teh pwnzor leeder of teh Judah peeps.11 Nahshonz have Salmon (Ceiling Cat favrit!), Salmon hav kid Boazz,12 Boazz have kid Obed an Obed hav kid Jesse.

13 Den Jesse can has Eliab n Abinadab n Shimea14 n Nethanel n Raddai15 n Ozem n David (David iz teh pwnzors).16 Thoz kittehs can has sissers Zeruiah n Abigail. Zeruiah hav kittehs Abishai, Joab, n Asahel.17 Abigail bez mudder uv Amasa, hoo hav fathah Jether teh Ishmaelite.

18 n den Calebz, Hezronzzs kitteh, had kittehs with Azubah and Jerioth. Thear kittehs wer Jesher, Shobab, n Ardon.19 Azubah died, n Caleb had a kitteh with Ephrath (teh pmp!) namd Hur.20 n Hur wuz dady ov Uri, n Uri dady ov Bezaleel.21 n den Hezron maried Machir, whose dady wuz Gileads dady, n wen Hezron wuz 60, Machir n him maed a baby namd Segub.

1 Chronicles 2
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