1 Chronicles 19

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Old Testament
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1 blarg da king uv ammon iz ded. Hanun iz new king w00t!2 David wuz fren of ded king, soz he wans Hanun to know David iz srry 4 Hanun. he senz his d00dz to Hanun3 hanun's d00dz r leik "OMG WTF? dey iz spies!!!!!1"4 so Hanun's d00dz, dey shave david's d00ds an senz dem bak.5 David's d00dz r ultra pwned, so dey hide out till fur groz bak.6 David is, leik, OMG gonna kill dem ammons. Hanun fines out and is all "OMG we needz moar d00dz7 liek a millon." Hanun n hiz d00dz r redy to fite!8 Den David senz out Joab, wiht all hiz d00dz.9 Teh doodz uf Hanun r all about makin war n r all up n in David's face.10 But den Joab is all pwned cuz dey r all round him. He iz all "Srsly, teh bestest shud fite teh Sytianz !!!"11 N he wuz liek "Broham, liek taek teh rest uf teh doodz n fite Hanun."12 So hiz bro iz all liek "This iz Sparta !"13 Joab sez 2 him "W00t, b teh pwner, praiz Ceiling Cat, 4 den he will liek shave teh n00bs."14 He den got up in teh faces of teh Syrianz n dey were all "OMG noes !" N ran like lil kittahs.15 Den teh doodz uf Hanun wer liek "Where'd they go ?" N dey totally ran n hid.16 So teh Syrianz wre all askin der frenz n brothahz 4 hlp cuz dey wer pwned.17 David totally has sum moar kittehs n doodz 4 teh fite n he wuz liek "Lez due diz !"18 He den brought teh seerius pwnage n teh Syrianz all ran n David killz like a millon charots n a billon doodz.19 So teh Syrianz saw teh pwnage n wer all liek "Do not want!" N dey maked peas wif David n didn't eet dem. Den dey sez to Hanun n hiz doods "kthxbai."

1 Chronicles 19
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