1 Chronicles 18

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Old Testament
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1 So den David totally pwnzored teh Philistines an him taked Gath an teh othr towns from teh Philistines.2 Den David beated dem Mabites 2, an him maked dem his slaevs an maked dem gives him cheesburgrs.3 An den, David goed to Hamath to gets all teh plas on teh Euphrates River, an him fited teh CatLord ov Zobah, Hadadezer.4 So David beated him to, an taked 28000 cheesburgrs! TOTALLY AWSUM D00D! Den he kiled sum horses.5 But den, teh Arameans of Damascus wats to helps Hadadezer, but David wuz liek, NO, cuz dey wer totally not gud fr him, so he maked 22000 ded.6 Den he maked all teh Arameans give him cheesburgrs 2, an teh Ceiling Cat maked David win everfing everwer. Srsly.

1 Chronicles 18
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